There is a cancer in many of our email communications that severely affects the health of our professional relationships. We need to cure it. But before we cure it, we need a test to diagnose whether we are writing cancerous communications – or more precisely, miscommunications. In other words, we need a PAP Test to check for purpose, appearance, and personalized tone.
Many of us receive dozens or maybe hundreds of emails everyday. According to a McKinnsey Report, Many business professionals spend 28% of the day working on emails. And while emailing can increase work productivity, it often takes up more time than it should because of unorganized and wordy emails.
But overly brief and direct emails can also ironically waste time and hurt professional relationships. Research has found that over 50% of email readers were unable to correctly identify the writer’s intended tone (Dhawan, p.6).
These are tone deaf emails.
Have you had emails that were a short vague request for recommendations with the one-word question “Thoughts?”, or an unsatisfying one-word “thanks” reply after completing a big favor or assignment? These emails needlessly make us think too much or keep us in an unsettled state for too long.
Unfortunately, because we are often pressured for time we quickly write or reply to emails and perhaps continue these miscommunication trends and continue to spread the cancer. We tend to say things and express ourselves in ways that we never would if we spoke to the other person face to face.
So, before you even write an email, you need to make sure it communicates clearly, efficiently and respectfully to your reader. In other words, you need a PAP test to help you screen for miscommunication cancer, ensure respect, and promote healthy professional relationships. Inthe following, you will see the PAP checklist and details about how you can improve your writing by paying attention to the email’s purpose, appearance, and personalized tone.
Purpose – what’s your point?
Each email should have only 1 purpose or function. Generally, there are 3 basic functions of an email:
- To provide information,
- To request information, and
- To request action or decision.
If you have 2 separate functions, it is a good idea to separate the email into 2 emails. This will reduce the risk of the reader only catching one of your main points or functions.
In Munter’s (1997) Guide to Managerial Communication, she offers a different business communication model based on 4 communication styles: Tell, Sell, Consult, Join. The figure below shows that these communication styles depend on the control of the writer and involvement of the reader (Munter, p.6).
Let’s unpack Munter’s model.
If your email’s purpose or goal is to provide information, like a memo about a new office policy, then you have complete control of the content and the reader only receives the message with no active involvement necessary.
If you need to ask for action or a decision, you have to persuade the reader and Sell your message, such as getting your client to sign the attached sales contract. Since you need to persuade, you cannot completely control the outcome and require the reader’s involvement.
If your email’s purpose is to request information, such as when you diagnose a potential buyer’s needs, then a confer or Consult style is needed. Here, the writer needs to involve the reader to learn from the reader while still trying to control the interaction.
Finally, if the goal is to request action to get help or work together, collaborative or Join style is called for. An example of this situation is when you email an agenda asking the readers to prepare for an upcoming meeting; here, you completely rely on the reader’s actions, which are not in your control.
The below table identifies the basic email functions and related communication styles for common types of business buyer-supplier emails.
| Email types | Email basic function | Communication style |
| Buyer: Inquiry from buyer | Request information | Consult |
| Supplier: Replying, Attaching and Giving More Information | FYI | Tell |
| Buyer: Negotiate terms | Request action | Consult |
| Supplier: Good and bad news | FYI | Tell (good news), sell (bad news) |
| Buyer: Complaints | Request action/decision | Sell |
| Supplier: Apology; reject responsibility | Request action/decision | Sell |
| Supplier: Invitation | Request action/decision | Join |
| Buyer: Accepting/declining invitation | FYI | Tell |
Once the basic email function and communication style is clear, it is time to write the email. It is a good idea to start with the subject line, to keep you focused on the main purpose of the email. You should typically mention the email function in a brief email subject line (6-10 words) and also at the beginning of your email. Compare the two email versions: which one is vague? Which is clearer?
Version A
| Subject line: Cube Printer Dear Sir or Madam How are you? We are an architecture firm and we have several important cases that have recently come in. In our client meetings and presentations we use 2-D and 3-D representations of the client’s project. We now need to purchase more 3-D printers because our current models need to be replaced. Can you tell us about your Cube printer …. |
Version B
| Subject line: Inquiry about Cube printer Dear Sir or Madam, I’d like to know more about your Cube printer …. |
Although the email supplier who receives Version A is surely happy to receive the email as a lead, she had to spend too much time to get to the main point of the email. The subject line only tells us the general topic of the email – but the email content could be a request for information, an order, or even a complaint. And the reader has to wait 4 sentences before she reads the purpose of the email (“Can you tell us about your Cube printer …”). Version B makes the purpose clear in both the subject line and 1st sentence.
But there are times when it is not a good idea to be so clear and direct with your subject lines, such as for sensitive issues like complaints or big favors. In these cases, being too direct will make the recipient uncomfortable and perhaps even unwilling to open the email!
Appearance – where’s the white space?
Emails should be easy to read with plenty of white space, which you can create with short paragraphs and bullets. Using bold and italics to highlight key information will help the reader catch the key words and phrases more easily. Take 15 seconds to compare versions A and B – which one is easier to read?
Version A
| Subject: Inquiry about Cube 3-D Printer Dear Sir or Madam, We are Globetrotters, a Home Furnishing Company with 15 offices globally that specializes in customized light-weight durable decorative arts. Since we have recently received several new contracts and will attend three major international trade shows in two months, we will need several 3D printers to make a series of models and designs for our new clients and also the exhibits in the trade shows. We found out about you through Google Ads and we think your product might be a good choice to replace our equipment. But we still have some questions about your Cube 3-D Printer: What are the dimensions of the Cube? How many free 3D files are included with each Cube 3-D printer? What are the software requirements and its compatibility? Since we need 50 units, could you please send me the CIF quotation? Also, we would like to know the possible date of your delivery. We look forward to hearing from you.Best Regards, Yillan Chen |
Version B
| Subject: Inquiry about Cube 3-D Printer Dear Sir or Madam, We found out about you through Google Ads and we think your product might be a good choice to replace our equipment. We are Globetrotters, a Home Furnishing Company with 15 offices globally that specializes in customized light-weight durable decorative arts. Since we have recently received several new contracts and will attend three major international trade shows in two months, we will need several 3D printers to make a series of models and designs for our new clients and also the exhibits in the trade shows. But we still have some questions about your Cube 3-D Printer: ● What are the dimensions of the Cube? ● How many free 3D files are included with each Cube 3-D printer? ● What are the software requirements and its compatibility? Since we need 50 units, could you please send me the CIF quotation? Also, we would like to know the possible date of your delivery. We look forward to hearing from you. Best Regards, Yillan Chen |
As soon as the reader opens email Version A, his heart will sink because it will take effort to read through that chunk of text with no white space.
Personalized tone – what’s your Power/Trust relationship?
The meaning of 60-80% of our face to face communication is carried by non-verbal cues, body language, facial expression, volume, stress and pitch. When we write emails, we lose this non-verbal communication – and that is why readers misinterpret the writer’s tone almost half the time. When you’re writing, you might feel cheery and even think that you sound cheery, but your reader will probably not pick up on it. Although digital communication is starting to develop its own digital body language with emojis 😄 😁 😆 😂 😊 😍 😎 and text speak (IMO, BTW, LOL), these are sparingly used in business communication.
In Digital Body Language, Erika Dhawan offers case studies and advice on how to improve your digital body language and add voice to your written emails. She advises you to understand your relationship to the reader in terms of trust and power. Once you know this context, then you can modify your language accordingly to make it appropriately formal, concise, diplomatic or friendly.
Dhawan offers a Trust/Power Matrix to help you understand your position in the email relationship and choose the suitable tone. For the vertical Power axis, this is your power position relative to the person you are emailing. If you have more power, you are on the top part of the matrix. If you are emailing your boss or customer, you are on the bottom half. As for the horizontal Trust axis, this is your trust in your relationship. If you have a close and trusting relationship with the person, you are on the right side of the matrix; if not, then you’re on the left side.
This matrix can clarify what tone you need to create, no matter how much trust or power you have with the person at the other end of the email. First, decide which of these 4 quadrants you are in and what that means ….
If you are in Quadrant A, you have more power and lower trust.
- You should make an effort to sound friendly and make the other person feel appreciated. Even “thank you for your message” or “I can’t look at this now, but I’ll get back to you” can help build trust and positive feelings.
If you are in Quadrant B, you have more power and also trust.
- You can be brief in your communications. Be clear on deadlines and expectations, but don’t assume that others know what you mean.
If you are in Quadrant C, you have less power and low levels of trust.
- In emails, it is a good idea to reply quickly and complete tasks promptly and don’t be afraid to ask for more clarification. A formal tone is safe if you’re not sure. This will show your good work attitude and help build trust. Your goal is to build trust. Ask people for advice.
If you are in Quadrant D, you have less power but are in a trusting relationship.
- This does not mean you should get lazy or careless just because you have a good rapport. This trust can start to disappear if you are not careful.
These quadrant position relationships can help you get your email tone right. To give you some examples of how to do this, the following table expands on the above version and suggests the appropriate tone for the buyer-supplier sequence of emails.
| Email types | Email basic function | Communication style | Power-Trust relationship | Appropriate Tone |
| Buyer (new): Inquiry from buyer | Request information | Consult | A | Formal, business-like |
| Supplier (new): Replying, Attaching and Giving More Information | FYI | Tell | C | Formal, friendly, helpful |
| Buyer (new): Negotiate terms | Request action | Consult | A | Formal |
| Supplier (new): Good and bad news | FYI | Tell (good news), sell (bad news) | C | Formal, friendly, helpful |
| Buyer (old): Complaints | Request action/decision | Sell | B | Formal, diplomatic |
| Supplier (old): Apology; reject responsibility | Request action/decision | Sell | D | Formal, helpful |
| Supplier (old): Invitation | Request action/decision | Join | D | informal, friendly |
| Buyer (old): Accepting/declining invitation | FYI | Tell | B | Informal, friendly |
Next time, before you send off your email, put it through the PAP Test. A cancer-free email is appreciated by everybody. But even more than that, PAP screened emails will command respect and help you create more professional and trusted relationships.
