My mother was human. Joan Betty Llewellyn Daly had her charms and foibles – as does everybody. On April 1, 2021, she passed away. After a few weeks or mourning and contemplation, I have come to truly appreciate her strengths – and I will strive to learn from them.
My mother’s life was filled with highs and lows — and the lows were pretty low. But, through it all she was able to progress, develop and grow at each stage of her life: from being an athletic youth, to supportive wife and dynamic mother, to party hostess and caterer, to a divorcee social butterfly who enjoyed sailing, convertible cars, her designed house by Lake Ontario, and travelling around the world on cruises — a few times over.
She was frugal, yet found the means to do all of the things she wanted. She did not delay, and seized the day. Nike took a page from her book, plagiarizing the “Just do it!” sentiment.
Everybody who knew my mother would without hesitation describe her as a social butterfly. Instinctively giving and generous, she always created, maintained and sustained positive and personal relationships with all types of people. Her vibrant and youthful energy allowed her to create immediate connections with people of all ages: children related, young adults appreciated, and older generations marvelled at her bubbling energy.
From my mother, I have learned 2 important lessons (that are more accurately, conditions) that can be applied to me – my life, my teaching and my business.
Lesson 1: success is social
You cannot be an island – success on any aspect in life depends on relationships and help from others
But, you cannot get help from others unless you truly provide help or value to others
Lesson 2: delay begets regret
In life, the greatest enemy of contentment and happiness is regret, and regret is often the result of delaying what makes you content
But, real contentment and pleasure often comes from failure and tragedy which is followed up with planning and effort: the road to true happiness is paved with sacrifice and at least some suffering
I hope I will be able to remember and practice these life lessons to make her proud and to measure up to her levels of personal success.
Eulogy – a celebration of life (April 6, 2021)
Dear Mum
I can’t believe you have already departed.
I can’t believe I will not be able to see you again.
I can’t believe we will not be able to have our weekly Saturday night calls.
But your memory remains. As does your inspiration.
Life gave you many lemons – throughout all of the stages in your life.
· You had a lonely childhood as a single child with few travels or holidays.
· You had an unhealthy childhood with asthma that was made worse by smoking parents.
· You had a horrific car accident that left you permanently scarred.
· You had a painful divorce later in life.
But, like a resilient alchemist, you were somehow able to turn those lemons into lemonade.
· From a lonely housebound child, you became a social butterfly and adventurous world traveler. How many countries did you visit in these last 20 years alone?
· From an unhealthy childhood, you became active and athletic, playing tennis and sailing into your 80s.
· From a disfiguring car accident, you became resilient and showed the world that true beauty comes from within.
· From a traumatic divorce, you became independent and in total control of your life and were able to follow your passions.
As a resilient alchemist, you seemed to uncover the fountain of youth – perhaps the lemonade was an elixir of youth.
You always took delight in knowing that friends in their 60s and 70s would never believe you were in your 80s.
Your active lifestyle and vivacious energy belied your age by decades.
Sadly, your fountain of youth was stopped short.
But we are all consoled knowing that among the many sour experiences in your life,
you were able to enjoy a rich life worth living by any measure.
I will love you forever and will always remember and appreciate all of your love and support.
I would like to believe that you are in a better place now,
and if that is true, I have no doubt you are flying like a bird and the life of the party.
I would also like to believe that we may one day see each other again
So that I can finally give you a long “hug”
Like the one that you always asked for at the end of all of our long distance calls.
Rest in peace Mum. I will miss you terribly.
