The About section provides 2000 characters to let you come alive in the mind of the reader, though it is recommended that you make this section about 500-1000 characters to be less of a burden on the reader. This section is what recruiters and networkers read on your Profile and it gives you the chance to stand out from others.
Here, you need to describe your past experiences, accomplishments and what you can do well. It is a chance for you to express your passion and personality as well. In short, you need to clearly describe what you can bring to the employer.
In Lauren Jolda’s excellent video training on LinkedIn profile writing, she gives a good example of an About section from a small laundry and tailoring service. [5]
Example: 1-paragraph sample
- Amelia Earhart once said “a single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” As the owner of a small dry cleaning and tailoring business, I live by this motto. I make it my mission to get to know my clients, their needs, and provide top notch service. Whether it’s cleaning a favorite outfit, tailoring a wedding gown, or sewing a custom patch on to a backpack, I take pride in providing the best service in record time while always leading with kindness. When I’m not running my small business, you can find me out exploring the world with my husband and two amazing kids. (627 chars)
It is a good idea to keep this section short for maximum impact – unless you have a lot of relevant experience or skills or creativity that you feel is important to share. In the above example, it is only a paragraph.
Prewriting skills: content and paragraph structure
Traditional paragraphs in informative writing, like reports and emails, should contain only one idea. It is often a good idea to mention the idea in the first sentence, which we can call the topic sentence, and then support that idea with details and examples in the following sentences.
In the example paragraph above, the writer wants to emphasize the “kind” service she provides. She starts with a quote to grab the reader’s attention and curiosity. Then 3 sentences supporting this quote with details about her dedication to service and kindness. The last sentence moves away from the typical formal paragraph structure which could finish with a summary of the idea. Instead, the writer adds a sentence about herself as a person to share with the reader/client that she is not just a business but also a loving mother and wife who likes to explore.
This example “About” paragraph is successful in:
- Grabbing our attention with a quote at the beginning
- Impressing on us her unique service that is dedicated and kind
- Letting us know she is also a caring person who we might want to give our business to.
Prewriting: Lists and parallelism
People are naturally attracted to patterns and order. We love nicely organized kitchen shelves, closets and bookshelves. Readers also love patterns and lists. This is called parallelism, and in writing this happens when you make each part of your list the same.
Example: bullets with parallel grammar
We often use this when we give bulleted lists, like the one above when describing the example paragraph:
- Grabbing our attention with a quote at the beginning
- Impressing on us her unique service that is dedicated and kind
- Letting us know she is also a caring person who we might want to give our business to.
Here, we can see the parallelism in the repeated v-ing phrases.
But parallelism also occurs in sentences. For example, in above “About” section example, we can see another v-ing parallelism:
- “Whether it’s cleaning a favorite outfit, tailoring a wedding gown, or sewing a custom patch onto a backpack, I take pride in providing the best service in record time while always leading with kindness.
That list is parallel because it uses the same grammar or type of word for the a,b,c list: “cleaning”, “tailoring”, and “sewing”. This is easy to read and satisfies our love for patterns. If it weren’t parallel we might have this:
- “Whether by cleaning a favorite outfit, or if I tailor a wedding gown or sewing a custom patch on to a backpack, …”
This example is not grammatically wrong but it takes longer to read and does not seem organized. The grammar in the first item (by+v-ing) is different from the last two items (S+V) and does not flow.
Grammar box. Parallel sentences and grammar types.
Different grammar types of parallelism: Noun, Noun phrase, Noun clause, or V-O.
| Type of parallel grammar | Non-parallel → parallel |
Noun list | a.LinkedIn users are mostly American, Europeans, and many are from the Asian Continent. → LinkedIn users are mostly American, European, and Asian. |
V-O list | b. Successful companies identify their clients, they know they have to learn about their needs, and also try to solve the customers’ problems. → Successful companies identify their clients, learn about their needs, and solve their problems. |
Noun clause list | c. The recruiter wanted to know which companies we worked for and our previous job duties.→ The recruiter wanted to know which companies we worked for and what our job duties were. |
Noun phrase list | d. The artistic skills of students in the fine arts are not the same as graphic design. → The artistic skills of fine arts students are not the same as those of graphic design students. |
Practice 1. Parallelism. (See answers at end)
1. Which of the following are parallel sentences?
- To excel at website design, one should be good at Java script and to know how to use SEO.
- To excel at website design, one should be good at Java script and SEO.
- All products must be tested, approved and packaged carefully.
- All products must be tested, approved and we should also package them carefully.
- Not only is this app expensive but also not secure.
- Not only is this app expensive but it is also unsecure.
- Either you chair the meeting or take the minutes.
- Either you chair the meeting or taking the minutes is something you can do.
2. What are the parallel grammar types in exercise 1?
3. Which sentence lacks parallelism in the paragraph below?
- [1] Amelia Earhart once said “a single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” [2] As the owner of a small dry cleaning and tailoring business, I live by this motto. [3] I make it my mission to get to know my clients, their needs, and provide top notch service. [4] Whether it’s cleaning a favorite outfit, tailoring a wedding gown, or sewing a custom patch onto a backpack, I take pride in providing the best service in record time while always leading with kindness. [5] When I’m not running my small business, you can find me out exploring the world with my husband and two amazing kids.
4. Rewrite this sentence using parallelism. (Hint: use V-O parallelism)
I make it my mission to get to know my clients, their needs, and provide top notch service.
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Bullets
Bullets and lists make it easier and faster for the reader to understand the message of the sentence. We need to remember that bullets do not just appear out of nowhere. They are usually part of a sentence, and they should ideally contain the same grammar.
In the following example, the original version contains 3 bullets that appear out of nowhere. The reader has to pause and make the connection between the bullets and the writer … and it is not clear how the bullets relate to the previous sentence. In the revised sentence, the bullets 1. Are used to support the idea in the previous, and 2. Contain the same grammar (V-O, V-O, V-O), and 3. Have the sentence period (“.”) at the end of the final bullet to end the sentence.
Revision example 1. Before → After. Make bullets clear and connected
| Original (example of 800+ TOEIC English learner) | Revised |
| I am now looking for a marketing position in the business industry. Specialize in designing infographics.Video storyboarding and editing.Proficient in English, Vietnamese, and Mandarin. | I am now looking for a marketing position in the business industry in which I can use my marketing skills to Design infographicsStoryboard and edit videosWrite and present in English, Vietnamese and Mandarin. |
Let’s review the ideas discussed in this section.
Take a look at Marcus’s complete About section revision with notes. The Original version is almost double the length and contains a lot of unnecessary information that could be found elsewhere in the Profile section, like name and graduation dates. This extra information takes away from the main message in the About section, which should be to let the person’s strength stand out. Bullets are a good way to do this – if they are 1. parallel, and 2. smoothly connected to a sentence.
Revision example 2. Before → After. Keep only necessary details and clear bullets in your paragraph
Original version (1110 chars)
My name is Marcus Phan. I am a college graduate in Summer 2019 with my bachelor’s degree in Social Science with concentrations in Economics and Politics. As a student majoring in Politics, I participated in several meetings and summits with foreign students, exchanging different opinions provides me the ability of critical thinking. I’ve had the opportunity to work for Bonami Enterprise Corp. as an intern allowing me to obtain mechanical knowledge and marketing skills within the business Industry. This internship also gave a clear vision about my future career path. I am a cooperative person who is passionate about teamwork and interaction. I am willing to take on challenges and responsibilities for every opportunity that I can get. I am now looking for a marketing position in the business industry.
– Specialize in designing infographics.
– Video storyboarding and editing.
– Proficient in English, Vietnamese, and Mandarin.
If any of the above sounds interesting and you would like to make a connection with me, please send me an invitation on LinkedIn to connect. I would like to hear from you! Thank you.
This example is too wordy, and much information (like name, education many other details) can be seen in Experience section, so it is not necessary in the About section. The word choice “willing to take on challenges” is also wrong, because it sounds like he doesn’t really want to “take on challenges”. And the bullets are 1. not connected to the previous sentence, and 2. not grammatically parallel.
Revised version (598 chars)
With a recent bachelor’s in Social Science, concentrations in Economics and Politics, and intern experience at Bonami Enterprise Corp, I have sales knowledge and marketing skills. I am naturally open, hardworking, and a passionate learner and team player who always seeks out challenges and responsibilities to improve myself. I am now looking for a marketing position in the business industry in which I can use my marketing skills to
– Design infographics
– Storyboard and edit videos
– Write and present in English, Vietnamese and Mandarin.
If any of the above sounds interesting, let’s connect. Thank you.
The revised version is much more concise and focused on achievements. The bullets have parallel grammar and are connected to the previous sentence to make it easier to read. The ending is also shorter and doesn’t waste the reader’s time.
Conclusion
We’ve talked about the purpose of the About section, seen samples, and analyzed their content and grammar. Now it’s time to put it all together. Again, think carefully about your purpose and audience on LinkedIn and represent yourself in the most suitable way.
Practice 2. Put it all together – Write your own short About paragraph
Be concise and use at least 3-4 bullets with parallel grammar
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References
[1] Jolda, Lauren. Rock your linkedIn Profile. LinkedIn Learning video course. https://www.linkedin.com/learning/rock-your-linkedin-profile/take-action-create-a-summary-that-introduces-you
Images sourced from either Unsplash or Pexels.
Answers to Practice exercises
Practice 1 answers
- B,c,f,g
- b noun; c v-ed; f S+V; g V-O.
- sentence [3]
- I make it my mission to get to know my clients, understand their needs, and provide top notch service.
Practice 2 answers – as appropriate to you.
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